I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it penis luge time yet?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I want to fling myself into the sun
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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