How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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