we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
