And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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