Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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