I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
