I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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