The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
