This is not my ceiling
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
