There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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