Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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