Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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