i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
