look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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