I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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