you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize