The best revenge is premature balding
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize