She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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