You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
