dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
