Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
