it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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