If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
