you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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