Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize