I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
