Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
