i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Shame is for Republicans.
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