so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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