Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
