so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
