I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
there is glitter all over my balls
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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