Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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