just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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