By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
