I will die if light touches me.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
