at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize