He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
