Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Drunk is not a location!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
