Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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