I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
