So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
