Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
