careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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