Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
