Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
this hospital has no fireball
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
