I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
