My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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