We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
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If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
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Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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