Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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