that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
