none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
