don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
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