why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize