guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
