The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
so let's talk penis.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
