i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Soap is not a condiment
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
