I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Randomize
