what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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